Attached you will find a thesis draft with comments from my professor where stuff needs to be changed
My professors general comments are:
There still needs to be done quite some work in the intro and discussion. The intro is not straight forward and one struggles to see what you want to do with the paper. I do not think you will have a problem managing that, but think simply, delete unnecessary text and get to the point. For the discussion, again, aim for a simple: this is what I have found” paragraph to start with, and then move onto a synthesis of your findings and previous findings. Do you find something new? Do you replicate previous findings? What is that?
Please, make sure that the figures you use are a simple way of delivering a message.
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